How YOU doin?

Sometimes people ask my husband and/or I, "How are you guys doing (regarding diabetes)?" There are two reasons why I love this question:

1. When someone asks about how I'm doing, or Marc, or the family, they recognize that, at this point, it's not just about K. Yes, it is K's *disease* (I hate that word, but it is, right?) and it breaks my heart that she cannot take a break from it like we can - but for now, the caretakers in her life are filling in for her pancreas, so, at this point, the burden is on us - and the stress of that care and some of our restrictions likewise affect our sons. The question "how is K doing with her diabetes?" is a pretty short answer - she's good. Sure, she's not a fan of diabetes, but it's all she knows and we make it so she can lead a pretty normal life. No, she didn't get dessert at Islands last night when we dined with a cousin - but after carb heavy fried food for dinner, did anyone need a sundae? No, and nobody got one - as they wouldn't have 2 years ago.

Obviously, over time, K will take more charge of her care. I'm hoping that before kindergarten she can check her own blood sugar. I imagine we'll work on carb counting as she learns to read maybe. This will become more and more about her as she gets older and the question, "How is K doing?" will have a much more elaborate answer at that point.

2. The other reason I like this question is that this stupid disease is a constant, yet fluctuating, presence in our life. Very little has changed since K was diagnosed. She still needs insulin to live and it's not just a matter of carb counting, dosing and walking away. Yes, she's been on the pump for over eight months and it's been a life saver. And yes we're used to living shackled to the blood glucose meter and the timer and sensing low or high blood sugars. We're more adept and less stressed than a year ago. However, there are constant variations - this is not an exact science. We count carbs; we weigh food, we chart her BGs to look for trends - but sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for her blood sugar readings. How was K's BG high for six straight hours through the night and then 64 upon wakeup? How just a few days later is she running low during that same time period? It scares us, it frustrates us and no amount of tweaking the pump basal settings clears it up. In sum, again, it's a pain in the ass - and it's constant. Also, I'm really really tired.

So, I kind of answered the question, "How are you doing?" with that second point, which was not my intention. I was just trying to explain why it's a question worth asking.  :) The only time it's not worth asking is when K is around. She actually doesn't like us talking about it with people. We try to explain to her that in certain circumstances, we need to, for her safety.

Last note, we are walking again for a cure for diabetes. I hope that when K is my age, or younger, she can say, "I had diabetes when I was young." I'd love for her and all type 1s - a disease for which there is NO cause - to eat and run around carefree like most people. I don't want her to have to worry about the consequences of diabetes that may come as she gets older. JDRF is our best hope for a cure. Read more on our Kate Crusade Donation page if you'd like to walk with us or will consider donating.